Happy New Year Everyone!
Like many folks I make a New Year’s resolution, or many, each year. It’s always something like drop a few pounds, get in shape, be a better mom, read more books etc.
This year I decided that all of that would take care of itself if I just did one thing, put my marriage first. When we have children, many of us put our kids first over our partners. This is a natural thing to do and both partners usually do it. But the problem is that our relationship with our partner suffers. We see each other when we turn out the light at night, when we’re too tired to do more than say goodnight. We see each other when we tag-team the kids, switching off duties so that each of us can get something done. We have a date night once in a blue moon and then spend the whole time talking about the kids.
I love my children fiercely but I love my husband just as much, and it’s time we put ourselves first. When our marriage is happy and we are really communicating, when we’re on the same page about where everything is going in our lives, even if we don’t agree, we are MUCH better parents and our children benefit as much as we do. It’s sad to miss someone you sleep in the same bed with every night. I want to get to know my husband again. I want to go on dates with him with the same enthusiasm we had before we married. I want to have long conversations about something other than the kids, our financial situation and work. It’s all possible. It’s up to me to make it happen and my husband is ready to do his share as well.
This will be a better year because we are going to be better to and for each other. Everything else will work itself out.
So Happy New Year and best wishes to you in pursuing your resolutions.